leopard print belt

I'm Wearing My Feelings

Atlanta top blogger, Atlanta style blogger, Atlanta Personal stylist

It almost never fails that when Thursday hits, I have a moment of - "Is today Thursday or Friday"?  I mean I literally have to look at a calendar to confirm what day it is.  Does this ever happen to you?  Sometimes I wonder if the reason why I'm having these semi lapses in time is because I'm not happy about having to wake up early in the morning, travel 40-45 minutes (one way) to a job that doesn't excite me or challenge my creativity. 

Atlanta top blogger, Atlanta style blogger, Atlanta Personal stylist

My career goals were simple.  I'd go to college, get my BS in nursing, work as a trauma nurse for 10-12 years, quit and then work for myself as a fashion stylist.  But we all know that even the best laid plans...  

Today's outfit sorta describes how I've been feeling lately.  All mixed up.  Although the first part of my career goals didn't pan out, I still have my sights set on being a successful entrepreneur.  For the last few years I've envisioned myself getting up for work only to call my manager and telling her 'I Quit'.  Today was one of those days.  

Honestly I think the reason I haven't done it is because I'm scared.  Whew!  I said it.  I think this is the first time I've actually embraced (outside of my head) that I'm scared.  I'm afraid of the unknown.  What if no one hires me?  What if a client hires me and I can't get the job done?  What if I don't make enough money to support my family?  What if!  What if!  What if!!!!!  Somebody said, the What if's and the Should have's will eat your brain. 

Maybe that why I haven't been as inspired lately.  I mean the struggle has been fo'real fo'real.  Just writing this post took a lot out of me.  Yet!  I won't be defeated.  I won't allow discouragement to beat the crap out of me.  Instead of letting fear get the best of me, I'm taken the advise I give my son when he's scared; just because you're afraid doesn't mean I let fear take over me.  

Fear aside, let me tell you how I fight these feelings.  My weapon of choice is my tongue.  Do you understand how powerful the tongue is?  It's more powerful than any two-edged sword.  Life (and death) lies in the power of what we speak.  That's why I make sure what I speak matches my goals.  Even at my lowest, I refuse to speak against my future.  Y'all I was about to start preaching, ha! ha! ha!.  

Anywho, I hope this post will uplift you in some way and I pray that you find the strength to go back, grab those dreams you though died and speak life to them. It's not to late.

Atlanta top blogger, Atlanta style blogger, Atlanta Personal stylist
Atlanta top blogger, Atlanta style blogger, Atlanta Personal stylist
Atlanta top blogger, Atlanta style blogger, Atlanta Personal stylist

Top, Camo Pants, Belt -- Thrifted // Shoes -- Shein // Sunnies -- Mall Kiosk

Photo Cred: KVisuals

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Do I Walk Away Or Go Harder?

Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger

For the last few months I've been feeling sorta defeated, no frustrated or maybe exhausted.  I guess to sum it all up, I've just been in my feelings.  This is not to say that all is falling apart, it's just that things aren't really happening how I'd envisioned.  Don't let these blog pics or my IG feed fool you ma'am / sir.  I'm a work in progress. 

Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger

The month of October to some signifies the last quarter of the year.  This is the time to really give it all you got.  To end the year strong.  But for me, this month brings me to my 12th year (TWELVE YEARS!!!!) being at my job.  It's kinda unbelievable.  Honestly I didn't think I'd last more than 5 years.  The plan was to make my way back to nursing school, graduate and get a job as a travel nurse.  If the travel nurse thing didn't pan out, I'd work as a trauma nurse in Grady Hospital's trauma center.  Obviously neither plan worked out (insert sad face).

Here I am close (really close) to 40 and still trying to 'figure it out'.  At the 4 year mark on my job, I started to realize that school was getting further away.  Yet, I wasn't willing to settle for the hand that life was showing me.  So I reached out to my baby sister with a plan to start our own image consulting company.  She thought it was a great idea and jumped on board.  Three years later.... What company???

Now what was I suppose to do?!?!  Walk away and just be grateful that I have a descent job with okay benefits OR regroup and try something else.  Over the last few years, I've been regrouping.  I can't even tell you how many times I've regrouped.  It's frustrating!  It's overwhelming at times ( a lot of times) and other times I'm literally on the verge of quitting and running the opposite direction.   

But the thing is.... I can't just walk away.  Even though I've tried talking myself out of chasing my dreams and creating a life where I live what I love.  I CAN'T!  I have to much at stake.  I've invested so much already.  Yes it's hard, but I'm driven to go harder.  Complaining is easy, procrastinating is the breeding ground for fear of failure or the unknown.  Feeling bad for myself is ridicules.  I will gain nothing from any of this.  

While I'm not where I'd like to be.  I'm motivated in the notion that I will succeed.  One day I'll look around and see what has taken money, sweat and years.  And by the power of the tongue I declare to myself everyday that I'm going to 'blow up.'

At this point guys, it's go hard or go harder!

Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger

VEST -- Target (old) // TOP, SKIRT, BELT -- Thrifted // SHOES -- Justfab (old) // STATEMENT NECKLACE -- I Heart Jewelz // SUNNIES --  Charlotte Russe (old) // HANDBAG -- Shoedazzle (old)  

Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger
Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger
Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger
Top Atlanta Blogger, Top Black Bloggers, Atlanta Style Blogger

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