black couples

What I've Learned After 10 Years Of Marriage + Vow Renewal Recap

Black Couples In Love, Black love, Vow Renewal

What better day than today to share a recap of our vow renewal. 10 years ago on January 10, 2009 I literally married my best friend. And guys, it still amazes me that even after 10 + years in, I’m beyond happily married.

Over the past decade we’ve been through A LOT and yet through it all we still really dig each other. But don’t get it twisted, staying together this long nowadays requires more than love. It entails work and being intentional.

For me the biggest lesson I’ve learned is not to make mountains out of mole hills. I mean so what he doesn’t put the toilet seat down after he uses the restroom. It cost me nothing to just put the seat down and pee. I’m sure there’s some things that I do that gets under his skin.

As Robert’s wife, it’s very important to me that he knows I’m his #1 fan and biggest cheerleader. Which is why I will never tear him down in his face nor behind his back. After God, he’s my first priority.

Another good lesson I’ve learned over time was to learn and love my husband in his love language. Hub’s primary love language is physical touch, followed closely by “acts of service.” Understanding this shows him how much I love him, because we all know actions speak louder than words - right?

If I had to name a key factor in what keeps our marriage running, I’d have to say sex! Yes guys, lots of sex. If you don’t take anything else away from this post, as a marriage couple you should never underestimate the importance of sexual intimacy. This is hubs favorite part of our marriage.

Speaking of hubs, when I asked him what his biggest lesson learned was he said - “I learned not to argue with you and to say, You’re right baby.”

Outfit details:

Hubs: Jacket - Macy’s / Pants - old / Shirt - Men’s store in Stonecrest Mall / Shoes - D & K Men’s store

My look: Top - Bodysuit, Asos / Botton - Custom made by designer Nicci Hou / Shoes - Betsy Johnson

Photography: Kaylin James & Kay Hillman // Videography: Howell Designs

I Married The Man I Never Wanted

Black Married Couples, Black Love, Black and Happily Married

For some women getting married is a goal.  Because nobody wants to be alone right?  Then you have those women who could care less about becoming a Mrs. Bae.  That was me.  As a young girl, I never saw a marriage that made me what to get married.  Also the handful of relationships that I'd been in didn't help my feelings towards marriage either.  And because of that, my plan was to get rich and travel the world.  Truth be told, I didn't want kids either.  But such is life...

Growing up in church I've heard a lot of scriptures, yet, there was one bible passage that really stuck with me.  Habakkuk 2:2-3 where it talks about writing the vision and making it plain.  I can't really say that I believed that writing down my thoughts, dreams and goals would actually manifest, but it was worth a try.  

Well, one day I got this wild idea to write down my vision of "the perfect husband."  I was in my early 20's and still had no desire to get married.  BUT just in case, I didn't want to take any chances.  Plus I needed God to know what I wanted if it were to happen.  Grabbing a sheet of notebook paper and a pencil (I used pencil in the event I needed change things up a bit),  I got to writing.  After listing all my wants and desires for a man I never thought I'd marry, I realized I filled up the entire page. 

Guys, I was super specific in my description.  Starting with his physical attributes, he had to be 6 feet or taller (the Mr. is 6'2''), he had to have a nice grade of hair (and he does), he had to be fair skinned or lighter with a nice physique (check and check).  His personality and characteristics included having street smart and book smart with a hint of thuggery (he has the perfect mixture of all 3).  Few people know how silly I am and that I'll laugh at the dumbest things; It was important to me to have someone who could make me laugh and also laugh at my silly corny antics (we have the best time laughing with and at each other).  

Okay so I'm not going to go down the entire list, but I think you get the picture.  Except for maybe 2 or 3 insignificant desires, Robert Stewart is exactly who I envisioned for my husband.  Some days I still can't believe that God thought enough of me to bless me with vision.  I can't believe we are almost 10 years in.  Pregnant (with his baby)  and broke, we got married on Jan. 10, 2009.  Honestly, I think he got me pregnant just so I'd marry him (although he'll argue differently). 

I'm not sure why I decided to write this type of post, but I hope it inspires and encourage someone somewhere to write the vision, make it so clear that your fears and inhibitions become irrelevant.  Also I challenge you to create either a vision board or a vision journal.  It's a powerful tool to help manifest your life desires. 

Trust that God is concerned about what you are concerned about and He does care!!!  Last thing and I'm done, promise.  Next January, we will be renewing our wedding vows.  I'm super excited since our first wedding was cheap and thrown together (but that's another story for another day).    

Black Married Couples, Black Love, Black and Happily Married

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